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Was directed to this post while reading my own random posts (which I do when guided to do so), and once again reminded of this important message (posted just 3 months ago)…and guided to repost it here as well. Would love to hear your thoughts as well. Enjoy!

Not In India

From this place of quiet contentment, this place of knowing and acceptance, the messages are always given the opportunity to find their way easily to my inner wisdom.

I have always found this clarity of vision while inIndia, but it has alluded me this year while here at home.  Channeled messages are always part of my sojourns in India, so receiving the following message early this morning, brought great comfort and joy into my life-more on this following the message:

You no longer need to strive. You have moved beyond the place of having to put so much constant effort into your continuing journey. After many years of hard work, you have earned the privilege of sitting back and enjoying the ride. You only need to allow yourself to flow, without resistance, wherever the current takes you.

If you can relax into this flow it will…

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Assistance Along the Journey versus Going It Alone-Powerful Message in a Dream

“When from our better selves we have too long been parted…how gracious, how benign is solitude”

The above is a quote by Wordsworth which I read last night in a book I am reading .  I had actually woken in the middle of night, unable to fall back to sleep.  When this happens to me, I don’t fight it, and usually get up to read until I feel sleepy again.  This quote was used in the book, and after reading it, DID go back to sleep, only to find myself in the following dream, which kept recurring until I woke up just now, several hours later.

The dream:

Riding along in a bus and knowing where I have to go.  The bus is going through a familiar area and I know where he must turn to get me to where I have to go (a place called givat Chen which in Hebrew means, loosely translated: “charming hill”).  As he comes to the corner where he must turn right to get me there, I get up to get ready to get off, but then he passes that corner and keeps going straight.  I KNEW I should have rang the buzzer and gotten off right away to continue the short journey to my desired place alone, but my mind told me  “Sit down and wait.  Perhaps he knows an easier way of getting there.  Let him continue to take you”.  As he drove further and further away from my desired location, I began to realize that something was wrong, but hesitated to question him, not wanting to bother him, or the other passengers.  I eventually found myself so far from where I needed to be, that I DID go and speak to him, only to be told that he has no idea where the place is I am talking about, and it was never part of the route.  I became flustered, and angry and frustrated and began shouting and at one point he yelled back at me but the other passengers just asked me to be quiet so that he could concentrate on his job of getting THEM to their desired destinations, and telling me I could not blame him for my not paying attention and knowing when to get off.

– just as I sat down on the bus and realized I would have to find my own way back, no matter how difficult it was, no matter how lost I was or no matter how far away I now was from my desired destination…I woke up!

There are times when  we all need assistance.  When we are so far away from the place we know we want to be, that we need help getting closer to that path along the journey.

It may be from a teacher, guru, healer, doctor, even friend, relative or relationship.  When you find the assistance you need, it is a wonderful blessing and should be accepted with gratitude and joy. But you must also know when you have been taken as close to your own path as possible by another person…when you see you have come as far as you can with assistance, and then don’t be afraid to ‘get off”…don’t hesitate or you will be taken very far astray.  You can always return to the place you wanted to be originally, but it will then take that much longer and require that much more effort and energy .

Knowing your own strength and trusting your own instincts will always keep you as close as possible to your own truth…assistance is needed at times along the way…no one can do it all by themselves,  but we must also be alert at all times to the signs that we have gone as far as we can with the help of someone else and know when to once again go it alone.

Know which stop on the bus route is as close to your destination as the bus is going to get you and GET OFF.  Walk the rest of the way on your own.  Don’t hesitate-when you know for sure that this is the place, don’t think that perhaps there is a shorter or easier route.  Let your own knowing guide you from there…And if you do NOT listen to your own inner voice, never blame someone else for taking you astray!!

 

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Seekers and Knowers

I have had a terrible head cold the past two days and have had great difficulty sleeping, so have been meditating and just “being”, not trying to force anything, and doing my best to accept my current “no so pleasant” health condition.  I know it is part of the panchakarma cleansing process, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.

While meditating, I was suddenly drawn to some notes I had written several months ago, while still at home in Israel.  And the one file I was drawn to, was actually written exactly 4 years ago, in Rishikesh, ON THIS EXACT DATE: February 22nd!!

This could not be coincidence, and so have decided to post it once again.  This issue of “seekers” has come up many times during this trip, and I once again had need to relate to the issue from my personal point of view.  The channeling below was exactly what I needed to hear, once again, to encourage me to always move forward in the way I feel is best for me.  I do my utmost to do that, but there are times when we need supportive words….I have been lovingly given these words again and share them here with you.

 

…find myself always being different from the travelers I meet. In McLeod, I am one of the few people who spend any length of time there who is not either an aspiring or already practicing Buddhist. Now I find in Rishikesh that I am the only person I’ve met so far who is not either looking for the perfect Yoga teacher, the Swami who will bring them enlightenment, the perfect Ayurveda doctor or the ultimate massage. Everyone seems to be searching for something…on some kind of pilgrimage…where is the best puja on the Ganga, the best Thali, the best mountain trail, the most beautiful temple. I find no need for any of these things and began to wonder if something is wrong with me. am I just too lazy to bother?

Or is it something deeper…and then I woke up to meditate and my guides came to me really loud and clear for the first time in many many months and the following was said:

You are neither practicing Buddhist in Dharamsala nor yoga student in Rishikesh. You are not a seeker. Others are seeking. YOU KNOW. Relax into that KNOWING. JUST BE.

Your only quest is inward. Everything you need is already there. The place is unimportant…it is just a means for you to easily access what is already KNOWN to you.

Relax into it. Let it flow.

You are blessed…We love You.

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February 21, 2011 – Poetry and Request for Advice

Just a few days I wrote a post about the poetry of massage. And to my great surprise, the same day a new poem was channeled to me in the early hours of dawn, just before fully awakening – and upon awakening I remembered it in full and wrote it down.

Poetry for me is a very difficult thing to explain.  As a child and teenager, I wrote many poems but they have disappeared…and then, about ten years ago, I wrote an good number of poems which you can find on  on the upper toolbar marked “Poetry”.  Or simply click on this link:

https://mindfulnessjournal.wordpress.com/poetry/

Thing is, I never actually write these poems.  I receive them as messages, channeled to me usually at night, but very often in the daytime as well.  They cover a variety of issues, but have great meaning, at least to me.

The poem I received a few days ago, is a mystery to me.  It doesn’t relate to anything specific in my life at the moment, at least not something I am consciously aware of, and I am not even sure of its meaning.

I am posting it here, hoping perhaps someone out there will have some insights as to what this poem means.  I have a general understanding of its meaning, but I know there are subtleties in it which I am not picking up.

SO I am asking for your help.  Your comments are invited wholeheartedly.

Gather Yourself Up

Gather yourself up

Put the pieces back in place

Life goes on, even when it comes to a standstill.

The carousel is waiting

Jump back on whenever you feel ready

There is no rush

The price will not change but the horses may need a good painting over time.

 

Any ideas??????

Namaste

Jane

 

 

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Understanding Loss – Part 3 – An Exercise in Remembering, Forgiving and Release

I have been doing much work going through this process mentioned in the two previous posts here from India, and find that most of my insights are much too personal for me to easily share them.  Much is painful, much is insightful leading to understanding which in turn leads to forgiveness and release, and this is extremely cathartic. I would like to share one of the exercises I have been guided to do, and which I found extremely cleansing, as long as I was completely honest with myself in performing the exercise.  Meaning, no expectations, no preconceived idea about the outcome,etc.  Total honesty.  This is not as easy as it sounds and I found myself stopping myself several times to get back to the place of honesty before continuing.

It is actually fairly simple sounding to do.  But a very good way of releasing lingering negativity regarding loved ones who have passed over.   As the passing which prompted the process in the first place was that of my mother, I began the exercise with her, but soon found myself working with my father as well.

Simply go back into your memory “bank”, looking for the earliest “deposits” you can find, and see how many pleasant and joyful recollections you have and how many unpleasant or painful ones you have in regard to the person you are working with at the moment. At first it may seem one sided, in either direction.  Do not judge or take things personally.  Do your best to be objective about what you are reliving. Ever so slowly, more and more “deposits” will surface, each becoming more and more clear and detailed.  This maybe be painful, may cause you anger or regret, may be joyful, may even be surprising…just let it all flow. Try not to “be” yourself as the child you were in each memory (or even adult-doesn’t matter), but rather see each event unfold as an impartial observer.When you feel there are no more memories left in the “bank” to review, simply ask that all be released back to the Universe as energies of love and light, send unconditional love to the person who has passed, as well as to yourself, and feel the deep sense of lightness this process has given you…cleansing, forgiveness and closure.

I am completely surprised at how the process has been working for me, especially at the intensity of the memories once they began to reveal themselves.  Also surprised at the types of memories which arose.  At first, the most powerful ones were kind of what I expected to find when dealing with a particular person, but slowly, the expectations became less, as did the preconceptions, and many other types of memories surfaced.  This is why I ask you to at least try to commence this exercise from a place of neutrality and non-judgement, with no expectations, if at all possible.

I’d love to hear from anyone who decides to try this…I am finding it extremely interesting as I continue working with it, and find it bringing me lovely feelings of release and lightness.

With love light and JOY

Jane

 

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December 31, 2010 – India – Understanding Loss Part 2

The days move along and although the weather here has turned from clear to cloudy, my own inner “weather” is getting brighter and clearer with each day.  I woke up very early this morning from an intense dream sequence, with the following insight and further clarity into the issue of redefining myself after loss.

Just an aside here…I also realized that in addition to the losses mentioned in the previous post, there was another situation of loss over that short 6 month period, one no less cutting and painful than the loss of my Mother or my love.  I had traveled back to the States after a 37 year absence, never expecting to find the intense emotional upheaval which was the result of this visit.  What I understood during my visit, was that I had lost something over all those years which I had never considered as something that COULD be lost, because I never thought of my life with, or without it.  I was content with my family and friends in my new country and never once regretted having left home for a foreign land.

But it seems as if this was a mistake.  I realized while there, and am now feeling the effects months later, that when I chose to leave the States, what I lost was my original family!!  Dear cousins. Aunts and uncles, who were always an intense part of my life while I lived there, even though I never realized it.  And of course rediscovery of  a beautiful sibling relationship was no less powerful.  This loss is something which can never be recovered, and the deep pain I feel inside at realizing this, is something which I doubt I will ever come to terms with.  I spent deeply rewarding and beautiful hours, as well as deeply painful ones, with a few very special people there who know who they are, rediscovering myself, and even discovering for the first times parts of self.  And now having reconnected with this “original family” , I find myself feeling the loss of it every single day.

And now back to this morning.  My phone is still not working but I am sure this is part of the plan. Instead of talking to people and making plans for visiting, taking trips, etc., in addition to the overcast weather, it is easier for me to move inward and begin working there. I am not completely at peace with this idea right now and have been wondering for the past couple of days what I am afraid of finding there. I have asked in my prayers and meditation over the past couple of days to be able to release any fears I have regarding this process as well as expectations as to how it will move forward. Just allow it to flow.  The overcast weather puts a further damper on my spirits but again is an incentive to stay close to home and go inward.

And then the insights of this morning…regarding redefining roles with the death of parents.  When our parents are gone, WE become the family “elder”.  We have to be careful not to allow this to color the way we picture ourselves.

Let me explain:  I do not become suddenly “old” because I become and “elder”. My Indian friend reminded me of this yesterday. I was sitting at her house feeling really down and said “ I feel like an old lady this trip – tired, no energy, etc.”  She said that when our parents are alive we can still feel young but when they are gone we begin to “be old”.  It was a very clever thing to say and a wake up call for me to really begin thinking about what thoughts I have been having, what I have been saying verbally, without realizing it, and how deeply they have been effecting me on all levels, including physical!  Just more food for thought along the way.

I realized that I need to get back in touch with my free spirit, with the child inside me.  It is still there, still alive.  It did not die along with my Mother! I have a lot of work to do and believe the panchakarma, which I begin on Monday, will help in this process as well.

And then I gratefully began my morning meditation, which revealed further issues…the things I was afraid of discovering…the emotions and feelings which I do not like to believe I am capable of:  And what surfaced were feelings of anger, guilt and deep sadness, as well as regret.  I called upon Archangel Michael, who is a powerful remover of negativity, to do a cleansing both inside me on all levels, as well as in my aura, to remove all of these negative emotions, wherever they may be blocked, and any others that I may not be aware of,  to release them back as energies of love and light and then to fill me with pure white light of love, joy, healing, and contentment and to help me move forward in complete freedom from fear..

I am feeling lighter and less troubled as I sit and write this, and grateful for all the love and blessings I receive each and every day.

With love light and JOY

Jane

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UNDERSTANDING LOSS

 

This has been an extremely difficult year for me, beginning with my early return from India in January.  I felt increasingly burdened, heavy, seemed to have lost my”light” and my “lightness”, and not really understanding why or how to move past it.

It wasn’t until today, a full 11 months after my return home from India that I had my AHA! Moment and figured it out.  And like all of these magical moments, it came to me during a powerful prayer and meditation session.

Without realizing it, I have been living through a year filled with great loss, and not only have I not honestly grieved for it, I had not understood that personal loss requires us to redefine ourselves and our purpose, our being, in the new placed, the new reality, we find ourselves in AFTER our loss.

And for me, again without realizing it, I have been through TWO intense losses within the same 6 month period – something which obviously is not simple. Or easy to come to terms with.

Finding myself moving along with “life as usual” after both losses, I imagined I had done just that, while in effect I had simply ignored the need for grieving, burying it in a “safe” place inside and feeling that all was well with me and my world, seeing as how I was coping so well.

Turns out, I was not coping at all, just living in denial, and it was taking its toll on my.  I never realized that the enormous heaviness I was feeling, the lack of energy, was due to the fact that I was physically carrying these losses with me, rather than releasing them in healthy ways.

I lost my mother this past year, and was stunned by the impact on me of her loss.  Since it is only in the past 10 years that I have any sort of loving relationship with my mother, I honestly did not think I would “miss” her.  Turns out, I miss her every day, in many subtle ways.  This took me my surprise completely.  The fact that I also lost my role as someone’s child, in effect becoming an orphan (as my father had already passed several years ago), I lost another part of “who I am” when I lost my mother.

In addition, I both found (for the first time) and lost, a true love.  I will not go into details but will simply say that everything I ever imagined, everything I ever prayed for, manifested,  and understood true love to be, was what I found in this short-lived relationship, and loosing it had a much deeper effect on me than I realized until just this morning. And once again, there was no grieving, just moving forward, adding another weight to the heaviness already inside of me.

Since I have arrived in India, just a little over a week ago,  these well buried “treasures” have been slowly seeping out of their hiding places , begging to be relasesd, but my still not “getting it”.

When in India, my Mother would always send me a daily e-mail, and I found myself sad, disappointed, even angry, that whenever I checked my mail at the internet café, this was not waiting for me. And all of my well-meaning friends here have been asking about my love, this wonderful man they had heard about, only to be told it is a story I would rather not talk about, and tears, ending the conversations. I was completely taken by surprise at these feelings of grief and grieving that arose in me.

What I realized this morning, the AHA! Which was Divinely and lovingly sent to me, was that this is the purpose of my stay here this time.  To process these losses, to release them in a true and proper grieving, to allow myself the luxury of feeling and crying and then moving into my new reality once again, lighter, and full of light.

At the end of the meditation, something else was “returned” to me after a whole year of being absent – my voice! Let me explain – there is a beautiful chant which I began repeating at the end of each meditation about 2 years ago, it is in Hebrew and I learned it from a teacher, Naomi, who taught me the beauties of Hatmara.  Loosely translated it means:  “I am light, love and joy” and it is sung in a haunting, deeply moving melody.  Every morning, while chanting this outloud, in full voice (it is the ONLY thing ever in my life which I could sing on tune), I was filled with enormous amounts of light, love and joy to move with me through each day. I have not been able to chant this since the day my mother passed away!!  I tried many times but the voice was not there…I could not sing/chant, these loving words outloud, or even say them silently.

This morning, I found my voice once again, and after a chanting, my eyes releasing great tears of joy throughout, I had a new sense of well-being and “rightness”  for the first time in  so long

I have  now understood that this is  a process with more than one step…an ongoing process, which, among other things, requires me to redefine myself in my new reality.

Accept the new reality, release ALL feelings,-including the “not nice” ones which, among others, include anger-and then joyfully move forward.

I sit here now with a new sense of contentment – now ready to begin the work of acceptance and self-definiton with a joyful heart.

I am truly blessed

Jane

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